Dr. Debi Silber on Transforming Betrayal into Breakthrough

4 Minutes Read

Episode 161

Are you in need of a post betrayal transformation? Do you find yourself dwelling on a past betrayal? Maybe it’s not something you constantly think about, but certain things trigger you to feel the initial betrayal you first felt. If you feel like you can’t get past the hurt, tune in!

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed. Her podcast – From Betrayal to Breakthrough, is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal made three groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, and TEDx (twice), she’s an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals and any other blocks preventing them from the happiness they want most.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the complete episode:

  1. You will learn how we physically, mentally, and emotionally experience betrayal.
  2. Dr. Debi Silber shares the three groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal.
  3. Learn the five stages of the post-betrayal transformation.

Episode Highlights

Who is Dr. Debi Silber

    • Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute.
    • She is a holistic psychologist, health mindset, and personal development expert.
    • She is the author of Trust Again and a two-time #1 International Best Selling Author of the Unshakable Woman and From Hardened to Healed.
    • She is also the host of the Betrayal to Breakthrough Podcast.

Dr. Debi Silber’s backstory

    • Dr. Debi Silber had a painful betrayal from her family.
    • She enrolled in a Ph. D. program in Transpersonal Psychology, the psychology of transformation and human potential.
    • She studied betrayal, what holds us back, what helps us heal, and what happens to us physically, mentally, and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive.

Dr. Debi Silber’s fascination with uncovering betrayal

    • When she started her study, Dr. Silber said that if she could heal from her betrayal, she would take everybody with her.
    • She was initially studying Post-Traumatic Growth, which is the upside of trauma.

Betrayal and its effect on us

    • Dr. Debi Silber defines betrayal as breaking a spoken or unspoken rule.
    • There’s a common collection of symptoms, physical, mental, and emotional, known as post betrayal syndrome.
    • The first effect is repeated betrayal.
    • The second is when a mental wall goes up.

Why fear is our first betrayal mechanism 

    • Fear is our go-to. 
    • When the people we trust the most betray us, it traumatizes our safety and security.

How you attract betrayal

    • Dr. Debi Silber shows us that we need to grow above the place we are at during the point of betrayal, but it is a decision to do so. 
    • By doing so, we have to elevate, and then any and everything else around us elevate to where we become.
    • When you stay somewhere and there’s no other place to go, betrayal can’t help but show up.

The physical effects of betrayal

    • Out of 80,000 people, 78% constantly revisit their experience, 81% feel a loss of personal power, 80% are hypervigilant, 94% deal with painful triggers, 71% have low energy, 68% have sleep issues, and 63% have extreme fatigue.
    • Physically, 47% have weight changes, and 45% have digestive issues.
    • Mentally, 78% are overwhelmed, 70% walk around in disbelief, 68% cannot focus, 64% are in shock, and 62% can’t concentrate.

The five stages of healing from betrayal

    • You can’t count on time to heal; it just doesn’t work. It’s intentional.
    • Stage one is like a four-legged table, and it is the setup stage.
    • Stage two is the discovery day, the scariest of all the stages.
    • Stage three is the most practical stage, where your survival instincts emerge.
    • Stage four is where the transformation begins. You find and adjust to your new normal.
    • Stage five is healing, rebirth, and a new worldview.

What healed looks like to Dr. Debi Silber

    • When you leave behind everything that no longer serves and create a version of yourself that never would have had the opportunity to show up had betrayal not happened, that’s well-served trauma.

What Dr. Debi Silber wants to be remembered for 

    • Dr. Debi Silber wants others to know she didn’t do anything anybody else couldn’t do. Betrayal hurts, and you owe it to yourself to do something good with something painful. Even though it happened to you, it’s not about you.

3 Powerful Quotes from this Episode

5:32 – “If I can heal from this, I’m taking everybody with me.”

16:23 – ”If you’re struggling with symptoms of the post-betrayal syndrome, you have not healed. If you have not completely moved through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, you have not healed.”

35:21– “Betrayal hurts, and you owe it to yourself to do something good with something painful. Even though it happened to you, it’s not about you.”


About Dr. Debi Silber

Dr. Debi Silber is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset speaker/author/mentor helping people heal from Post Betrayal Syndrome and is an expert speaker on how an unhealed betrayal impacts your health, relationships, work, and life.

She speaks to those struggling to heal from a painful betrayal and those who have figured out how to survive their experience and have resigned themselves to believing that the physical, mental, and emotional place they’re currently in is as good as it gets. They’ve settled for a body, level of health, work, relationships, and lifestyle that keep them “safe,” stuck and small. She is honored to share her message with others.


Connect with Dr. Debi Silber




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Darrell Evans

Darrell Evans is a serial entrepreneur, investor, and Co-founder/CEO of Yokel Local Digital Marketing Agency. He and his teams have helped businesses generate over $300M+ in revenue online. Every month, he leads virtual workshops teaching actionable strategies and tips from his experience helping companies market, grow and scale. To attend an upcoming workshop, click here => https://www.darrellevans.net/free-training.